her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
