i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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