Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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