I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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