i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
