I have demons in me.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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