where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
