I am puke
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Life without a bra equals bliss.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
