How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
