I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
