when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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