I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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