it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
