They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
