i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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