I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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