I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
