Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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