We won't sleep together?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I stole a fireplace last night.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
