we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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