I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She announced her abortion via fbk
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
