im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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