He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
