She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
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