wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
