sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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