actually, I'm a sock model
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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