my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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