Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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