you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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