Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
