I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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