Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
