I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
