What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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