so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
