just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
