So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize