He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
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I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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