WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
