he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
