She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
