i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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