I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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