Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
