So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize