The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
