every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
