this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
