READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
