Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
