i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
