If i come over, it means nothing
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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