is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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