can we get nightvision for the apartment?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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