We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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