I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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