He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize