Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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