Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
