How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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