no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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